Tim is now resting comfortably after what appears to be a successful surgery. He barely bled and the surgeon said it went as well as can be expected. Everything looked clear and contained so they were able to proceed with the radical surgery. We won't know about the lymph nodes and surrounding tissue for at least a week.
In the meantime he is enjoying the benefits of a liberal morphine pump. The man is so funny when wavering between twilight and concious.
How can anyone be that handsome with tubes coming out of his nose?
Just exhausted!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Waiting
The worst part of this whole cancer business is the waiting. Waiting, waiting and more waiting.
It is only two days more until Tim's surgery. He is having radical surgery on May 18 and will be in the hospital from 6:00am. His surgery is being done at Burnaby General Hospital and his surgeon is Dr. Warner. Expected surgery time is about 4 or 5 hours. Expected recovery time is about one month with a hospital stay of 3 - 5 days. They will first look at his lymph nodes and determine whether there is any point to continue with surgery. If so, his bladder will be detached and his prostate and lymph nodes removed. They already know there will be fairly extensive nerve damage. They hope to be able to reattach his bladder.
Prostate surgery is normally a simple enough process. That isn't the case if the cancer is more advanced. His cancer is advanced. His surgeon is capable and has a good reputation. He will have good care. One of our sons is an advanced paramedic and he will make sure that things are going well. I was a practical nurse in the long distant past and have experience caring for very ill people. I can still make a bed and do a patient transfer with my eyes closed.
Tim is a very strong and dynamic man. At this moment he is painting the back deck so he has somewhere pretty to be while he is healing. We planted salad and flowers for the near future.
Friends have been calling and are starting to show up and reassure him. He is in a mood that can be described as like the character "Data" from Star Trek. Straight ahead, no humour, eyes front, and literal. I am finding this a bit hard. He is a Brit. Very Brit. I am a Newf and Irish. Very Newf.
He cuts off an arm and say,"Oh bother!" I get a scratch and scream for last rites. Both processes work. I am rarely disappointed and he is just a little bothered.
Want all of this in the distant past. Soon!
It is only two days more until Tim's surgery. He is having radical surgery on May 18 and will be in the hospital from 6:00am. His surgery is being done at Burnaby General Hospital and his surgeon is Dr. Warner. Expected surgery time is about 4 or 5 hours. Expected recovery time is about one month with a hospital stay of 3 - 5 days. They will first look at his lymph nodes and determine whether there is any point to continue with surgery. If so, his bladder will be detached and his prostate and lymph nodes removed. They already know there will be fairly extensive nerve damage. They hope to be able to reattach his bladder.
Prostate surgery is normally a simple enough process. That isn't the case if the cancer is more advanced. His cancer is advanced. His surgeon is capable and has a good reputation. He will have good care. One of our sons is an advanced paramedic and he will make sure that things are going well. I was a practical nurse in the long distant past and have experience caring for very ill people. I can still make a bed and do a patient transfer with my eyes closed.
Tim is a very strong and dynamic man. At this moment he is painting the back deck so he has somewhere pretty to be while he is healing. We planted salad and flowers for the near future.
Friends have been calling and are starting to show up and reassure him. He is in a mood that can be described as like the character "Data" from Star Trek. Straight ahead, no humour, eyes front, and literal. I am finding this a bit hard. He is a Brit. Very Brit. I am a Newf and Irish. Very Newf.
He cuts off an arm and say,"Oh bother!" I get a scratch and scream for last rites. Both processes work. I am rarely disappointed and he is just a little bothered.
Want all of this in the distant past. Soon!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day!
Had a great day. Tim dragged me out for breakfast take-out at the beach and Bren and Meg came over and brought lunch consisting of samosas, an incredible quinoa salad, halva and bliss balls from Sweet Cherubim. Dane called and chatted.
Presents included a rosemary bush, a toast brander with the image of the Virgin Mary and a Unitarian Universalist bumper sticker. Impossible to find. Who knew you would get presents just for having the kind of kids you wanted?
Tim and Chrissy and I celebrated far too much last night by drinking organic potato vodka and eating Greek food. I was fine but Tim wasn't. Brendan dragged his sorry butt out to the hockey game. The first moment I have had alone in weeks.
Found my room, sorted and got rid of extra clothes. Now have one closet, one dresser, and one armoire. That is for both winter and summer. Have one basket of shoes and one of boots.
I only have the office left before tackling the kitchen. Who needs fourteen bread pans? Rarely eat or cook bread anymore. I am really loving having all this extra breathing space. Purpose of all of this is to make more room in this tiny house. I grew up in big houses and have never adjusted to living small. The exception to this is the few years I traveled with backpack, lived vans, boats and tents in the early seventies. I prided myself then in being able to move with a backpack and a shopping cart. Now the grocery delivery truck might be challenged.
Simple living will take some time but I am looking forward to it.
Tim looks really good. A little more than a week until his surgery.
Sometimes I read over this stuff I write and realize I sound like a prissy old woman. Shocking considering I used to sing with Sluts for Social Justice and don't think I have a prissy bone in my body. Except that I like people who have clean hands. Hmmmmm. That Virgin Mary Toast brander has got me to thinkin'.
Presents included a rosemary bush, a toast brander with the image of the Virgin Mary and a Unitarian Universalist bumper sticker. Impossible to find. Who knew you would get presents just for having the kind of kids you wanted?
Tim and Chrissy and I celebrated far too much last night by drinking organic potato vodka and eating Greek food. I was fine but Tim wasn't. Brendan dragged his sorry butt out to the hockey game. The first moment I have had alone in weeks.
Found my room, sorted and got rid of extra clothes. Now have one closet, one dresser, and one armoire. That is for both winter and summer. Have one basket of shoes and one of boots.
I only have the office left before tackling the kitchen. Who needs fourteen bread pans? Rarely eat or cook bread anymore. I am really loving having all this extra breathing space. Purpose of all of this is to make more room in this tiny house. I grew up in big houses and have never adjusted to living small. The exception to this is the few years I traveled with backpack, lived vans, boats and tents in the early seventies. I prided myself then in being able to move with a backpack and a shopping cart. Now the grocery delivery truck might be challenged.
Simple living will take some time but I am looking forward to it.
Tim looks really good. A little more than a week until his surgery.
Sometimes I read over this stuff I write and realize I sound like a prissy old woman. Shocking considering I used to sing with Sluts for Social Justice and don't think I have a prissy bone in my body. Except that I like people who have clean hands. Hmmmmm. That Virgin Mary Toast brander has got me to thinkin'.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Finished a roaring trip to the desert. We drove from Vancouver to Pendleton, Oregon where some of my family story still is alive. Walked around town and felt the influence of the place on my continued family history. Dropped into the Pendelton Woolen Mill and bought a blanket that wasn't patterned but all white because it reminded me of the sheep my Gran raised both in Pendleton and Alberta. Understood so much about her while standing in the place. Bought the balcony railing from the old hotel in Stanfield for my house and found baby shoes circa 1900. Same as Gran. If they weren't her shoes they belonged to someone she knew.
Drove to the Great Salt Lake from there and journeyed to the Spiral Jetty and waded in the salt water. Had to drive miles along a ranch road, dodge a grumpy bull and keep shooing ornery cows and calves out of our way. Tim was a little shocked to hear that I could still use the appropriate tone and poster to shoo livestock. Ran into a Wiccan Celebration when we arrived, saw a flock of buzzards, a Golden Eagle, and an Azure Butterfly. Tim went walking and I perched on a rock overlooking the Jetty and was kept company by a blue skink. Gorgeous thing.
Returned to the Tabernacle but had to leave because it felt so oppressive to me. Salt Lake City is a testament to order and control. It is also in the most beautiful environment.
Left for Nevada and ran into a place called Rolling Mountain Thunder which is the most remarkable achievement of folk architecture in the desert. Couldn't leave but the winds were howling and we were warned the roads were going to close if we didn't hoof it. We ended up in Reno which was a complete trip. Ended up thrift store shopping but was overwhelmed by all the showgirl props and clothing. Favourite by far was a pair of hip high pink Suede boots that were high heeled wedges and pink mink from half way up. Decided to leave when I watched to e;elderly blue haired women dressed in pink pants suits do a drug deal with Amyl Nitrate and LSD.
Got stuck in the Donner Pass in a blizzard with high winds and impossible roads. Being Canadian, we trooped through. Saw a truck driver cry from the stress of the journey. Saw more than one person weeping in the road stops from fear!
Drove through the fruit farms and wondered if the USA would fall apart without the effort of the many Mexican and Central American workers and without old women having to deal drugs to survive. Met a woman whose mother refused cancer treatment because she didn't want to wipe out her husband and children financially.
Arrived in San Francisco for a real holiday and ate Tapas and toured one of my favourite towns. Bought a beaded velvet jacket to remind my self that Janis Joplin and the Haight still resides in me somewhere.
Got stuck on top of a double decker bus on top of the Golden Gate Bridge in a gale and hailstorm and discovered a new will to survive or at least have a warm toddy. Walked for miles home and through Fort Mason and saw the bottle brushes and huge Agaves. Entertained myself with the funny amusement automatons at the Musee Automatique. Ate sandwiches and Chowder on the Wharf. Listened to blues in the streets and watched a young man play his guitar while standing on his head and thought about the Reno grannies and the farm workers. Watched a crippled street beggar push his wheelchair down the road at the end of the day.
Saw the beautiful Oregon Coast and awoke to a pounding surf. Ate the bread pudding of all bread puddings. Found Myrtle beach wood like bones on the beach.
Listened to the hate of the "Tea Party" people while they were planning to protest the protests against hate in Oregon. Met a caravan of the group " Jews for Jesus" who were also planning a protest and hoping to join with the "Tea Party " people. They were worried about paying taxes and thanked us for sharing our table . I explained that that was okay because we were Canadian and real Canadians shared everything!
Embroidered a white work, dug for rocks and rusty bits. Attended just a few museums and art shows and travelled like there was no tomorrow. Enjoyed my man, good food and coming home!
Pictures will follow.
Drove to the Great Salt Lake from there and journeyed to the Spiral Jetty and waded in the salt water. Had to drive miles along a ranch road, dodge a grumpy bull and keep shooing ornery cows and calves out of our way. Tim was a little shocked to hear that I could still use the appropriate tone and poster to shoo livestock. Ran into a Wiccan Celebration when we arrived, saw a flock of buzzards, a Golden Eagle, and an Azure Butterfly. Tim went walking and I perched on a rock overlooking the Jetty and was kept company by a blue skink. Gorgeous thing.
Returned to the Tabernacle but had to leave because it felt so oppressive to me. Salt Lake City is a testament to order and control. It is also in the most beautiful environment.
Left for Nevada and ran into a place called Rolling Mountain Thunder which is the most remarkable achievement of folk architecture in the desert. Couldn't leave but the winds were howling and we were warned the roads were going to close if we didn't hoof it. We ended up in Reno which was a complete trip. Ended up thrift store shopping but was overwhelmed by all the showgirl props and clothing. Favourite by far was a pair of hip high pink Suede boots that were high heeled wedges and pink mink from half way up. Decided to leave when I watched to e;elderly blue haired women dressed in pink pants suits do a drug deal with Amyl Nitrate and LSD.
Got stuck in the Donner Pass in a blizzard with high winds and impossible roads. Being Canadian, we trooped through. Saw a truck driver cry from the stress of the journey. Saw more than one person weeping in the road stops from fear!
Drove through the fruit farms and wondered if the USA would fall apart without the effort of the many Mexican and Central American workers and without old women having to deal drugs to survive. Met a woman whose mother refused cancer treatment because she didn't want to wipe out her husband and children financially.
Arrived in San Francisco for a real holiday and ate Tapas and toured one of my favourite towns. Bought a beaded velvet jacket to remind my self that Janis Joplin and the Haight still resides in me somewhere.
Got stuck on top of a double decker bus on top of the Golden Gate Bridge in a gale and hailstorm and discovered a new will to survive or at least have a warm toddy. Walked for miles home and through Fort Mason and saw the bottle brushes and huge Agaves. Entertained myself with the funny amusement automatons at the Musee Automatique. Ate sandwiches and Chowder on the Wharf. Listened to blues in the streets and watched a young man play his guitar while standing on his head and thought about the Reno grannies and the farm workers. Watched a crippled street beggar push his wheelchair down the road at the end of the day.
Saw the beautiful Oregon Coast and awoke to a pounding surf. Ate the bread pudding of all bread puddings. Found Myrtle beach wood like bones on the beach.
Listened to the hate of the "Tea Party" people while they were planning to protest the protests against hate in Oregon. Met a caravan of the group " Jews for Jesus" who were also planning a protest and hoping to join with the "Tea Party " people. They were worried about paying taxes and thanked us for sharing our table . I explained that that was okay because we were Canadian and real Canadians shared everything!
Embroidered a white work, dug for rocks and rusty bits. Attended just a few museums and art shows and travelled like there was no tomorrow. Enjoyed my man, good food and coming home!
Pictures will follow.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
New Results
Tim is now taking time away from his work to enter treatments. Test results are back and his cancer is very serious. So is Tim. Me too!
The facts are more helpful than the fantasy. Facts are that all the biopsy sites showed cancer. The bone scans have not shown any cancer but have shown a map of many of Tim's adventures through time. They also show a touch of arthritis in his hip. wonderful news considering that we were worrying that the pain was bone invasion. He is very healthy and fit for his age. He is a good candidate for surgery. We start there and move to the next step after that is finished.
Tim is an extremely active man. He moves at a pace that would exhaust most gerbils. He recently complained about his energy levels which made us chase him in to the doctor. He did this while hanging from the roof.
He has built the most beautiful gate for our little house. He has dug up the garden patch and is planting food and beauty again this year. He has a list of plans for the next sixty days.
We think we are going to go to the desert for a few days. We have finished making the kinds of tasks like will making. We love our lawyer. His name is Rodney and he drives an old Corolla. He decided that the low mileage and little need for repair would make a smaller earth footprint than buying a new car. He likes looking and acting in a low impact way. His lawyer practise is also very frugal and careful. His suggestions for things like living wills etc were also very practical and helpful. He understood my need to protect the young women attached to our family and my impractical desire to pass on gifts to people and organizations not attached to our family. He also understood the complications involved in a blended family. Lucky that our sons are all generous and fair young men. So that part has gone easy peasy.
Now it is time for us to get on with creating a new kind of life while we help Tim heal and take charge of his healing. How lucky that this has happened in the spring. We wake up to birds singing and to sunlight creeping into the windows. This is Vancouver and flowers are everywhere. I saw my first butterfly yesterday.
I am working on little pod forms with needle knotting and embroidery and cast paper. I am also finishing a mobile made from animal bones that was a commission that has really challenged me.
Trying to stay present in the world of conflicting and overwhelming medical advice. It will all work out.
The facts are more helpful than the fantasy. Facts are that all the biopsy sites showed cancer. The bone scans have not shown any cancer but have shown a map of many of Tim's adventures through time. They also show a touch of arthritis in his hip. wonderful news considering that we were worrying that the pain was bone invasion. He is very healthy and fit for his age. He is a good candidate for surgery. We start there and move to the next step after that is finished.
Tim is an extremely active man. He moves at a pace that would exhaust most gerbils. He recently complained about his energy levels which made us chase him in to the doctor. He did this while hanging from the roof.
He has built the most beautiful gate for our little house. He has dug up the garden patch and is planting food and beauty again this year. He has a list of plans for the next sixty days.
We think we are going to go to the desert for a few days. We have finished making the kinds of tasks like will making. We love our lawyer. His name is Rodney and he drives an old Corolla. He decided that the low mileage and little need for repair would make a smaller earth footprint than buying a new car. He likes looking and acting in a low impact way. His lawyer practise is also very frugal and careful. His suggestions for things like living wills etc were also very practical and helpful. He understood my need to protect the young women attached to our family and my impractical desire to pass on gifts to people and organizations not attached to our family. He also understood the complications involved in a blended family. Lucky that our sons are all generous and fair young men. So that part has gone easy peasy.
Now it is time for us to get on with creating a new kind of life while we help Tim heal and take charge of his healing. How lucky that this has happened in the spring. We wake up to birds singing and to sunlight creeping into the windows. This is Vancouver and flowers are everywhere. I saw my first butterfly yesterday.
I am working on little pod forms with needle knotting and embroidery and cast paper. I am also finishing a mobile made from animal bones that was a commission that has really challenged me.
Trying to stay present in the world of conflicting and overwhelming medical advice. It will all work out.
Friday, April 16, 2010
New Days
Thank you so much to each person who has taken the time to contact me after the last entry regarding Tim's illness and our current challenges. It really means so much. I was also a little surprised to learn that people I don't really know would take time from their life to contact me and offer support. What an amazing world.
I post entries in the blog to practise writing. I am not very skilled at it and know that practise make things easier. I lost my ability to read and write for awhile with two cancer challenges. The drugs I was taking took away my ability to concentrate enough to write. I couldn't put sentences together and had very little comprehension or ability to remember. It was called chemo brain.
I also had problems with my eyes. The eyes have been fixed and are better than they have ever been. The chemo brain is much improved but I still have some problems remembering and sorting information. It gets better every day. I push it to make it better.
When I was really sick and hardly able to talk let alone read, my writer friend Peter, read to me at least once a week. He patiently listened while I struggled for words and brought me inspiration and ideas of all kinds. So did Charles, my friend and practicum student. They did this lovingly and by dedicating part of each week to allow me to re-enter the world and survive. Neither knew me well when they started doing this. Katherine, from Paris, also came and taught me to breath again after my lungs were radiated. She only knew me a little but she came every morning and spent time breathing with me. MaryEllen came and cleaned my house. Gayla came and made me tea. Juliet held my head up while I vomited. Jonathon came and just made sure I was safe. Christine brought me laughter and left me in the hospital. Alice made crumble, Karen talked to me everyday, Barney wept and held me on the bus, so did Hannah. Polly and Roberta and Marie stayed in touch with treatments and information. My children came and carried on with ordinary life in front of me. My nieces just knew when to call. Someone used to anonymously leave me prairie flowers. Derrick moved things. So many people did nice little things I will never forget.
Wonderful people are showing up again and we are learning to accept help. We are letting them in and really appreciating the support.
Encouraging words are arriving daily via the Internet and telephone. I had no idea how many people read this blog. In the last few days I have heard from Whitehorse , Yukon, Calgary, Wells, Iraq, Israel, England, New York, Winnipeg, Quebec, France etc. All words of love and encouragement.
Tim is still waiting for his treatment regime and some tests to be completed. They will decide what to do when this happens. We are in the world of waiting for results and treatments once again. But we both know that people are with us again.
Thank you so much!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
I post entries in the blog to practise writing. I am not very skilled at it and know that practise make things easier. I lost my ability to read and write for awhile with two cancer challenges. The drugs I was taking took away my ability to concentrate enough to write. I couldn't put sentences together and had very little comprehension or ability to remember. It was called chemo brain.
I also had problems with my eyes. The eyes have been fixed and are better than they have ever been. The chemo brain is much improved but I still have some problems remembering and sorting information. It gets better every day. I push it to make it better.
When I was really sick and hardly able to talk let alone read, my writer friend Peter, read to me at least once a week. He patiently listened while I struggled for words and brought me inspiration and ideas of all kinds. So did Charles, my friend and practicum student. They did this lovingly and by dedicating part of each week to allow me to re-enter the world and survive. Neither knew me well when they started doing this. Katherine, from Paris, also came and taught me to breath again after my lungs were radiated. She only knew me a little but she came every morning and spent time breathing with me. MaryEllen came and cleaned my house. Gayla came and made me tea. Juliet held my head up while I vomited. Jonathon came and just made sure I was safe. Christine brought me laughter and left me in the hospital. Alice made crumble, Karen talked to me everyday, Barney wept and held me on the bus, so did Hannah. Polly and Roberta and Marie stayed in touch with treatments and information. My children came and carried on with ordinary life in front of me. My nieces just knew when to call. Someone used to anonymously leave me prairie flowers. Derrick moved things. So many people did nice little things I will never forget.
Wonderful people are showing up again and we are learning to accept help. We are letting them in and really appreciating the support.
Encouraging words are arriving daily via the Internet and telephone. I had no idea how many people read this blog. In the last few days I have heard from Whitehorse , Yukon, Calgary, Wells, Iraq, Israel, England, New York, Winnipeg, Quebec, France etc. All words of love and encouragement.
Tim is still waiting for his treatment regime and some tests to be completed. They will decide what to do when this happens. We are in the world of waiting for results and treatments once again. But we both know that people are with us again.
Thank you so much!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Shell Shocked.
It is Easter Sunday today. I am in a state of shell shock from the recent news about my life partner's cancer diagnosis. He has gone to Ontario to be with his 96 year old father and his brother.
The news isn't very good because his cancer is quite advanced. It is very strange because he doesn't look or act very sick. I have seen the results and have talked with his Doctor and know what all of this means. It is deepened by the fact that I am also not in great health.
Tim becomes highly scientific, logical and task focused at times like this. So do I. The house is very tidy, papers are organized and hoardings thrown out. Possessions mean so little right now.
I went to lunch with friends and realized I talked nothing about cancer. I talked about salt, anger at traditional celebrations, cel phones and my annoyance at people constantly texting when I am talking to them about scary things.
Three people have already made suggestions about huge diet changes. They have never eaten with me. They don't know that I grow food organically, gather wild food and eat mostly organic food. I also eat junk sometimes. I know life time vegetarians who walk miles a day live pure lives and still get cancer. So do other people. Cancer is not one disease with one cause. Both of us have very strong genetics for cancer. Tim's father is 96 and smoked and drank for many years, lived a highly stressful life as a soldier for years, meat four times a day, lived in an industrial town, had an industrial job, has been blown up, motorcycle accidents and major illness. My lovely friend's baby died before three months from a cancer formed in utero. Nothing had touched her lips besides breast milk from a fanatically pure mother. I can't bear this right now. I have plenty of information. I am an expert regarding cancer. My family have many people who are faith healers. They also have died from this stupid set of diseases.
Having the disease or surviving the disease forces us to become heroic. It forces us to think about life. Denial is hard when you really hurt. When you see parts of your body missing or damaged. I am a patchwork quilt. I know everyday that cancer once grew in my body. I have learned to do this.
I have lived with my sweet partner for 28 years. We moved in together on Hallowe'en night in 1981. We have been together for a long time. So long that I don't remember him not loving him.
We, of course, will cope and carry on and hopefully survive this new challenge. This is harder for me than any other thing that life has handed out. I understand every cliche.
I have this repeated dream for two weeks now. I dream that a very slender young man breaks into my house. He is wearing tight black clothing. He is packing everything important up and stealing it. He is doing it brazenly and keeps doing it and ignoring me when I ask him to stop. I wake myself up before he leaves my house but I can't get my breath. This week all I can do is remember how to breath. That is going to be hard because the lungs have been yanked out of me.
I don't think I will write for awhile.
The news isn't very good because his cancer is quite advanced. It is very strange because he doesn't look or act very sick. I have seen the results and have talked with his Doctor and know what all of this means. It is deepened by the fact that I am also not in great health.
Tim becomes highly scientific, logical and task focused at times like this. So do I. The house is very tidy, papers are organized and hoardings thrown out. Possessions mean so little right now.
I went to lunch with friends and realized I talked nothing about cancer. I talked about salt, anger at traditional celebrations, cel phones and my annoyance at people constantly texting when I am talking to them about scary things.
Three people have already made suggestions about huge diet changes. They have never eaten with me. They don't know that I grow food organically, gather wild food and eat mostly organic food. I also eat junk sometimes. I know life time vegetarians who walk miles a day live pure lives and still get cancer. So do other people. Cancer is not one disease with one cause. Both of us have very strong genetics for cancer. Tim's father is 96 and smoked and drank for many years, lived a highly stressful life as a soldier for years, meat four times a day, lived in an industrial town, had an industrial job, has been blown up, motorcycle accidents and major illness. My lovely friend's baby died before three months from a cancer formed in utero. Nothing had touched her lips besides breast milk from a fanatically pure mother. I can't bear this right now. I have plenty of information. I am an expert regarding cancer. My family have many people who are faith healers. They also have died from this stupid set of diseases.
Having the disease or surviving the disease forces us to become heroic. It forces us to think about life. Denial is hard when you really hurt. When you see parts of your body missing or damaged. I am a patchwork quilt. I know everyday that cancer once grew in my body. I have learned to do this.
I have lived with my sweet partner for 28 years. We moved in together on Hallowe'en night in 1981. We have been together for a long time. So long that I don't remember him not loving him.
We, of course, will cope and carry on and hopefully survive this new challenge. This is harder for me than any other thing that life has handed out. I understand every cliche.
I have this repeated dream for two weeks now. I dream that a very slender young man breaks into my house. He is wearing tight black clothing. He is packing everything important up and stealing it. He is doing it brazenly and keeps doing it and ignoring me when I ask him to stop. I wake myself up before he leaves my house but I can't get my breath. This week all I can do is remember how to breath. That is going to be hard because the lungs have been yanked out of me.
I don't think I will write for awhile.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)