Anniversay 200

Today I am posting my 200th post.

Lately I felt quite lethargic about making postings because my energy levels haven't been very high since my most recent health stuff. Sometimes I wonder about the purpose for the posting and remember that it is a little journal that other people get to read sometimes. It has kept record of at least one part of my life.

I have been thinking a lot about the kind of work I create and realize that it is about making little bits of my imagination concrete.

There are struggles with creating. My studio has incredible temparature ranges. I live in a wet raincoast environment in Canada. It is fairly temparate by Canadian standards. I get whiny in the cold room. I get whiny in the room when it is too hot. I get whiny with my machines.

I know I am very, very lucky to have a place to work. I spent yesterday being spoiled by my beautiful friend Fariba. She creates wonderful work in a tiny, tiny space in her small apartment.
Her life looks beautiful and integrated. She is resourceful and energetic. She cares for her daughter and makes her art.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how it is we recreate our life story for others and how they interpret our story. I wrote something recently about an internet friend who is managing to integrate her life and make art with challenges. She says that each part of her life gives her energy and motivation for the other part. Her creations, her parenting, her work revolve around and for one another. Each part appears to be done very well. It sounds like a wonderful life story and looks like a true story. I feel that she is probably a mature and well integrated person. She certainly creates beauty.

I think I don't integrate things in my life well. Or my story is told in bits and parts. I really want it to be more integrated. Maybe it was once. Each part of life seems to have times to re-evaluate, finish and start. So, it is probably time to spend some time planning and goal setting again so that I can act in a more integrated way. There are some art things I need to finish up and push forward. There are also some life things that seem to be getting in the way and need to be tidied up.

I really went to town organizing my studio over the last two weeks. I also knocked my back out and had a huge fight with myself about allowing that to happen. I know I can only pick up weight so heavy and bend in certain ways. I am usually really good about that but I tempted fate like a brat. Brats are self destructive and bother other people.

When I go back into the studio it will be nice and clean with two machines to explore. I will continue and finish stuff I want to do, chuck stuff I don't want to do and get ready for the next project which is about textiles but not made with them. I will work with some new people and some I have worked with before. This is something to really look forward to.

It is time to live with more of this work and set up a little corner at home to work in when not in the studio. More art friends can come home and more home friends can have lunch at the studio. It is time to accept the fact that I am a working artist and that it is honorable work that doesn't have to shoved it into corners anymore.

Time to feel more grateful I am sure. I choose to do art. I do it when there is no place to work. I even do it in my sleep.