I have two more treatments.
Radiation is an amazing process.
Tiny beams have been blasted at my spine to destroy a little tumour that has been making movement challenging. The flares from the radiation and inflammation left me stunned. I was expecting some pain. Just not that pain. Last weekend was a challenge because my morphine was not on Mayne and I was.
I went to radiation support and pain management at the hospital and am now drugged up.
The new oncologist was very firm about making sure I manage the pain cycle. And that is was going to get worse before it got better. I know now. So I am a pill popping Mama.
I have these friends and this husband who show up in the early morning and late at night.
I love them so much for doing this. So much.
Trying to get a handle on the emotions pouring out of me and trying to hold in the panic.
Some of it drug induced and some of it real. Tim has a sixth sense and knows when to
just wrap himself around me. His patience. His calm. His emotional generosity.
I asked him how he managed to do this. He said, "Because you are still Patricia Chauncey."
Who needs a Valentine after that?
So I will jump up on the radiation spaceship table and trust.
There are times to be dependant and other times to give. I will relax and understand that needing help and support is all o.k.