Salmon Calling

Sorting things out. The house was abused during preparation for the current show. It has taken a few days and I am now nearly there. Problem is that when I am fully engaged with art practise nothing else really matters. So paint and dye gets spilled, tub drains get blocked, decent household duties go for a dive. I become a bit of a lunatic. Worse when it doesn't matter to anyone but me.

Tim has been up in the North for a year now. He will continue to work up there for a few more months. But he arrives back tomorrow night to stay one day and then the van gets packed again for a little vacation. He might as well have everything comfy when he arrives and something nice for his belly.

I am looking forward to concentrated time to do some planning and figuring out what happens next. This limbo state in our relationship is really very trying. The breast cancer survival thing makes it so I need to make decisions regarding how I spend the rest of me. And I know that everything can't be planned for. But I was completely surprised to have him leave and go up there. Or that I would go and come back to Vancouver and leave him there.

I have decided what I would like already. There has been enough compromise now. A quiet rural place to do my art without interruption. A way to be in or near to a vibrant city for everything that offers. To look at different things and people. A large enough place to teach and work from. I want to be in Wells or at the ranch. I love responding to the wild and the seasons. But it could be anywhere really. France and Italy also call quite loudly. Very, very lucky to have the priviledge to imagine like this. And what if we all lived like we didn't have a long tomorrow.

So we will sit on some beaches and hike in some forests and figure out if we do this together or not. I wonder who decided that being this age meant stagnation. Neither of us are made for that!

Yummm! While I am on the subject of higher calling the grilled salmon shouts my name.

And this really should be an amazing few days. Not intense or heavy but very, very clear!