Checklist

Checklist of bad things I do:
No commitment to solutions.

1. Pretend to be listening when I am noticing patterns on the floor.

2. Eat fries.

3. Swear. Too much. Like a dock worker. Still...

4. Bite thread. Always.

5. Slurp Bloody Mary's. Only when it gets past the ice.

6. Read upside down and backwards and snoop when other people are writing notes.
A habit learned in detentions while in school.

7. Check for clean toilets. My toilets are always clean.

8. Sniff people I like. I know! Sick.

9. Threaten my ducks. And take it personally when they stand and look at me or ignore me.

10. Read Pinterest.

11. Read my horoscope. Every single day. And I know there is no science there at all. It is like a little guide. I like I do. No like. Don't do.

12. Keep myself awake to listen to European news. Or watch the night sky.

13. Have this arrogant thing. I hate when Tim does it. I am more arrogant than he is.

14. I have a bad temper that only comes out at people I really love. Or at the evening news.

15. Plot out activities and do none of them. Make lists and ignore them. Plan menus and order in.

16. Eat shrimp even though I know it will give me itchy hives.

17. Tell little lies to my granddaughter. Her shoes are not lost. I just don't want to go out for the twentieth effing walk. Her shoes are on the bookshelf

18. Forget birthdays of everyone except for those who don't care enough to return the favour.

19. Brag about my kids. Because they are the best that were ever born. Ever.

20. Have a sense of entitlement about love. Love fiercely. (Tim loves me fiercely and tells me that it is because he can take me for granted. He means it. And he does!)

21. Cry. I used to be so hard assed. Now I cry when other people are crying or when I am telling people something important. Or at lost socks from the laundry.