There are things you probably don't know about me. So I will tell you.
1. I am getting older and I like it. I don't like all of the things it brings like disrespect and sore knees but I like some of my sags and wrinkles. I want people to keep their own faces, boobs and bums.
2. I used to be a Can-Can dancer. I also danced interpretive jazz ballet and made extreme gestures and faces. I wasn't a particularly good Can-Can dancer because I had an ample bosom and threatened to knock myself out when bouncing enthusiastically.
3. I gave birth to two children. One was very large. I inherited two children. One was very loud and active. I like them all.
4. I like bugs a lot.
5. I have a complete weakness for my childhood foods. I really crave things like cracklin's and pickled pigs feet but I don't eat them. I will fight anyone for the butt end of the chicken. We called it the Pope's Nose. My early childhood was spent in Quebec.
6. I had an amazing singing and talking dog named Woofen. I would sing and so would he. I would talk and he would talk right along. He punished me by taking all of my clothes out of my drawers and getting the garbage bag and rolling in both. I knew he had done it when he put himself face first in the corner.
7. I can't drive. I am a hopeless passenger. I make everyone I drive with crazy. I imagine all kinds of disaster.
8. I can swear in more than seven languages. I want to learn real Gypsy cursing. I watched a tiny old Romany woman curse the cops in Paris. I have a new goal.
9. I still stamp my foot when pissed right off.
10. I love flannel nighties, clean sheets and cocoa. My real fetish is total comfort.
11. Mail gets left on my floor if it doesn't interest me.
12. I am double jointed and can bend all over the place. This means I can pick things up with my toes.
13. I am a breast cancer survivor. I "forget " to wear my boobs. Swimming is difficult because my back end is more buoyant than my front end and I end up swimming under water. Bee-line for the bottom.
14. I grow paper wasps nests and steal them for my art.
15. Truly hate mornings.
16. My worst childhood fears were "Dawn Horses" and the concept of "Infinity". I was afraid that a little herd of Dawn horses that survived the Ice Age would stampede, knock me over and trample me with their sharp little feet.
The image of a woman on the box of "Black Magic" chocolates was holding a box of chocolates was holding a box of chocolates tinier and tinier until you couldn't make them out. Shivered my timbers.
The first time I saw the ocean I threw up because you couldn't see the shore on the other side. Infinity in the big. Oh God! Then I discovered the "Universe" and couldn't sleep for a month!
That, of course, was all replaced by my fear of the nuclear bomb.
Since cancer...I don't feel afraid of much.
17. I really do love Paris and New York. Houses in both places is a dream I have.
18. Wood rot and sow beetle fascinate me. It must be the process of regeneration.
19. I bite thread. I almost never use scissors.
20. Most people are likable but I have a problem with "girly girls". Never trust them. Princesses appal me. Why would any ordinary person give their daughter delusions of grandeur? Or force feed them anything pink!