Eyelet and Crinoline

I have mostly sewn a petticoat and crinoline now. The bloomers are almost cut out and I have figured out how to simplify the patterns to make more sense to this poor chemo atrophied brain.
It appears that I have lost the ability to make sense of patterns and the only logic for me is to invent as things go along.

There are things that I lost with chemo. Depth perception is different, decision making, emotional processing and endurance. I lost the ability to communicate very well. Talking in full and meaningful sentences was really hard for awhile and I could barely write a sentence.
Thankfully some good friends and paid helpers offered help during this time. A few friends were patient enough to read to me or explain what I wasn't processing.

My ability to spell and navigate through decent grammar is still not great. I can barely do a single task let alone be the super multi-tasker I was in past. I was never a math genius but now I am completely hopeless which isn't helped by the panic that overwhelms me when placed in situations requiring logic.

Hopefully the crinoline will look okay and the bloomers will be adjustable enough to fit. Michelle deserves to look nice and not worry about her costume.

I wonder if for most people, the losses coming from breast cancer are really not about losing breasts and more about everything else that happens. The scariest ones for me came from losing friends and abilities. My experience was different from many of my friends. They got a little breast cancer, had it diagnosed and went through a few treatments. I am not denying how scary their experience was. Mine has just lasted for so many years. I am not always grateful for my life
and that makes me feel guilty. This is the week I go back for cancer tests. I am not feeling very well and haven't for awhile. So I move into pain and panic mode once again. I'd like to kick something but my limbs are too painful.

Sewing bloomers has once again helped move some of the rebel creative juices. They always come when there is something else to do. There is a plan for when these things get finished and I am excited. More and lots and better constructed.

And I am going into a study for people with chemo brain. They are finally recognizing it is real.