|Today was such a sad day. All my work has come to a stop until i figure out what direction to take.|
My cousin and his wife both called and have called it quits on a very shaky marraige. Not an unusual situation in this day and age. I wasn't expecting their children to ask me for help and support the way they did. My heart is broken for them.
I come from a huge extended family that is often on the edge of functional. Cousins were often raised in the same house or on the same farm and relate more like siblings than most cousins do. Everyone seems to live in each other's lives somehow. Everyone fights like cats but seem to be there at the worst times. Sometimes this isn't a good thing.
I was working away and feeling delighted with my new lot in life and got pulled back into my old lot in life quite abruptly. Resistance is hard.
What do I do?
I have raised my own children and they are doing well. I have raised some other children and they are too. I don't have energy to take on children again but I love these children. Listening to tiny ones asking for help and trusting you can fix things that are unfixable is an awful experience.
Listening to a little eight year old boy saying, " Aunty Cousin Patty( we pretend we are from the Ozarks) I just feel really tired and sad." reminds me that we impact our children and other family members and hurt them when we don't make wise decisions.
Little one...I just feel really tired and sad too! I will try to do a little something but I just can't make it go away no matter how much I want it to. We all learn hard lessons and I hope you find that place that helps you survive. If it gets bad you can come for a sleepover and read the books that you like and I will make you soup and ice water. Just like you like. Only time takes this away.
I am so sorry for your pain.