Tim is very aware and bright now. His ability to move from close to death to fully alive has been astounding. All tubes will be removed on June 1. He is no longer taking opiates for pain and is managing with a mild pain killer. He insisted on having his hair washed today and went out of the house for a small walk. He wanted to go alone.
This means transitioning from full care nurse to watchful companion and help mate. Very hard to do because I am naturally hyper-vigilant. Did it anyway. It is his life and he needs some privacy now that there is little danger from his lowered blood pressure and drugged state. His tissues are healing beautifully. So is his spirit. He asked me to sit down and start making future plans today.
Plans are a good idea but we are not sure what is required for him medically yet. It could mean more surgery, radiation and chemo. I learned that planning needs to be very flexible when going through something this big but that planning creates hope.
I haven't had much time for art because I am it right now. I start working solid from early morning until late at night. Clothing changes happen a few times a day. So do sponge baths, feeding, cleaning up, tons of laundry and sterilizing. Tim has to eat five times a day and have lots of fluids that need to be prepared. It is rather like looking after a small baby who is completely articulate and able to express both pleasure and displeasure. He isn't completely helpless but knocks me off kilter when he tries to "help". I am so tired that I need to maintain a rhythm and create energy to get everything done.
Tim looked after me for a very long time to get me well. It worked. He knows what he is doing.
Watched Avatar tonight and had hoped for more. Wonder about the need for such awful battles.
Like the idea of coming together for healing and energy and loved the images of the earth wrapping around those needing healing. Octavia Butler also uses that kind of imagery in healing using plant vessels.
I need more plants!