I have removed the last posting from my blog because on reflection and further information from said writer I decided it wasn't fair.
I still feel some of what I felt. Recognizing myself and incidents I experienced with a special person was completely unnerving. He was decent and brave enough to contact me and ask questions about my feelings. Cads do not do that as a matter of habit. They are not usually confused by the reaction of their victims. They are not sensitive and also hurt by the response.
I was also reminded that as an artist I have used images and photographs of him in a very exposing and explicit manner and he didn't always like what I did with his image. He trusted that I would be responsible with inspiration I used that was about him.
Making art and writing really are so very similar when it comes to inspiration and process. It takes hard work and persistence to get it done. We are as vulnerable as our muses when our work is viewed and criticized. We are vulnerable when we offer ourselves up for creative exchange.
Trust and communication are such a huge part of the shared creative process, perhaps even more than with ordinary friendship or work. Dealing with delicate and human motivations as a subject matter requires a mature objectivity. The writer and I agreed to use one another as inspiration a long time ago now. It was an obvious connection because we just work that way. With lots of struggle sometimes. Hopefully with a strong ethic and little inhibition.
Karma is an interesting concept. It works in more than one way. Like all consequence it works on layers and is multi directional. Karma isn't revenge for a "bad" action or a reward for a "good" action. I wonder how Karma works when there is more than one person involved?
Things are never just black and white. Like with colour, we need to define our recipes and palettes. We also need to accept that sometimes accidents and rips happen. One day a disaster the next one of the most inspiring colours ever.